Saturday, February 27, 2010

40 Posts in 40 Days: The Perfect Resolution Pt2

Hi. This is part 2 of a short story I started yesterday. If you missed the beginning here is the link. The Perfect Resolution Pt.1

The Perfect Resolution (Pt.2)

Jenny stood in front of the list emblazoned on her wall. Her husband, still on the floor beside the bed, is snoring quietly. Feeling a little guilty for putting him there so abruptly she tossed her plushy pink robe over him and returned to the wall. The washer was crammed full of blankets and the trip up and down the stairs twice -second time to balance and restart washer- definitely goes towards a few minutes of exercise. The apple in the second danish must have had at least a serving of real fruit. She smiles. This is not that bad. I really can do this.

To be PERFECT I must do the following EVERYDAY:


  • drink 640z of water

  • exercise for 30 - 60 minutes

  • 5 servings of fruits & veggies a day

  • read & write for 4 hours each (TY Stephen King)

  • Sleep for 8-10 hours

  • Power nap in afternoon

  • Cook healthy meals at home (NO TAKEOUT!)

  • Eat dinner as a family (AT THE KITCHEN TABLE!)

  • No alcohol, No caffeine, No sugar (THINK HEALTHY!)

  • Keep up w/house cleaning

  • Stay on top of laundry

  • get/give at least 6 hugs (TY Becky Sain)

  • Take time for you! (YOU DESERVE IT!)

  • Finally, when perfection is achieved... repaint bedroom wall!

She heads back to the kitchen, the sounds of bongo drums are fading. The sink is full of dishes from last night's fun. Before tackling them she runs the water til it feels ice cold and fills a tall glass. The cool liquid suddenly felt like nails scratching her throat and tasted like aluminum with a hint of chlorine. She spit the rest into a open corner of the sink and looked at the glass in disgust. When did the water start tasting like that? She went to the refrigerator and pulled out the kids jug of kool aid. It's got water in it.

With the dishes done and the washer bouncing along with the second load Jenny poured herself another cup of coffee and, even though it was cold, drank it down. Coffee has water in it too. She smiled as she headed to the bathroom with a exaggerated sense of repletion.

Standing in front of the mirror she took a moment to administer another quick pep talk. Holy Oscar the Grouch! Where did those eye brows come from? Jenny ran her ringer across the unruly bunch of newly sprouted follicles. After digging through the medicine cabinet she found a pair of tweezers. On closer inspection, they look like someone used them to scrap the bottom of their shoes off. Ack! She tossed them in the garbage, which is full and quickly expelled the tweezers to the floor. Jenny bends to pick them up and gets a close up view of her legs. More colonies of prickly sprouts have invaded. They seem to sway in the breeze of her sigh. Oh my God. I'm turning into a she wolf.

Jenny finds a barely used razor and does a dry run attack on the more noticeable areas -knee down- and for a second contemplates using it to clean up her brows. The instant image of her Aunt Barbara and her drawn on look of constant amazement stops her. Maybe I can hide them with a little make up.

Back in the bedroom Jenny stands over her husband, snoring contently on the floor, wrapped in fluffy pinkness. He doesn't care if his eye brows are three inches long and are forming their own comb over movement towards a unibrow. The overwhelming urge to throw a cup of water on him overcomes her. Instead she goes to her dresser to matte her brows down with her pastiest concealer. Looking in the mirror, the effect is more like painting a wall beige and leaving the bristles that fell out of the brush behind. GRRR!

"You sound mad." Her husband's groggy voice taunts from behind her.

"Not mad at all. Was just thinking how GRRReat this was going."

"What's for breakfast?"

"Fruit salad." Jenny smiled with one eye on the list. "Making a big salad with dinner too."

Stay positive. You can do this. Jenny repeated as she went back to the kitchen. Stopping in the doorway she had to rub her eyes and look again. The table was filled with tipped boxes of cereal, flakes and puffs mingling beside bowls of left over milk. Cups littered the sink and a trail of red kool aid ran across the floor from the refrigerator. Mouth agape Jenny stood there, her hands slowly finding a perch on her hips.

"Morning Ma. Happy new year." her son gurgled and milk sputtered down his chin. He made no move to wipe it.

"Yeah, HNY." Her daughter mumbled, she sat hunched forward, eyes down, fingers flying furiously across the tiny keyboard of her phone.

Neither child noticed Jenny's expression, her son oblivious to subtleties and her daughter oblivious to anything outside of her phone. Breathe, just relax. If you blow up they're all going to say it's because of your resolutions. She went the fridge, pulled open the fruit drawer. There was one apple and what looked like it could have been a lemon in another life. She grabbed the apple. Well, at least I can count this as another fruit serving. It's kind of big, I'll count it as two.

"Whoa, looks like we still have some cleaning up from last night to do." Her husband said. His voice heavy with what sounded like snark. Jenny looked up, her fingers wrapped tighter around the apple. Should I waste the serving and throw it at him? How could he know the kitchen had already been cleaned before the kids woke up? With the force of a tiger she bit down hard into the apple, her teeth sinking easily through the outer skin and deeper. Her daughter glanced up between texts.

"Wouldn't eat that. The boy played H wit it."

"What is H?" Jenny mumbled. The texture of the apple was changing as she moved it around her mouth. Why is this so mushy?

"Hockey." She said. The duh was implied in her tone. Jenny looked at the uneaten part. It was an odd brown color and had the consistency of chewed baby food.

"OH ACK!" Jenny ran for the garbage.

"Why, why?" Was all could get out.

"I couldn't find any of my pucks yesterday." Her son explained.

"Why would you put it back?"

"You always say don't waste food." His defense was weakening and he sank slightly in his seat.

Jenny looked from him to her daughter, then to her husband. He hid a smirk. She wanted to scream, but that's what he was waiting for. She went to the cabinet, took out the largest glass she could find and filled it with kool aid.

"That's not water." He smiled.

Jenny huffed and stomped out of the room.

"Where are you going?" He called after her.

"For a power nap." She hissed through her teeth.

Inside the bedroom she stood, wielding the permanent marker over the list. With angry slashes she changed Drink 64oz of water to liquid. Completely crossed out the fruits and veggies and because she was on a roll knocked exercise down to 30 minutes.


Thanks for stopping by for part 2 of The Perfect Resolution. Let me know what you think of it. Be honest, I can take it :)


Kristin : )

* Here's the link to The Perfect Resolution Part 3


  1. HA!! Interesting story. I had to go back and pick up the first part from yesterday. I like the way you are 'playing' with the idea of resolutions and haw we sometimes get around them.

  2. Poor girl...learning the trouble with strict resolutions already. :-(

    I can't wait to see how you continue this - and I hope she eventually gets a happy ending!

  3. Thanks misterreereeder & Jamie. I am having fun seeing how much Jenny can actually take before she takes a wrecking ball to the wall. As for a happy ending, we'll see ;)

  4. Yes, coffee does have water in it...