Friday, February 26, 2010

40 Posts in 40 Days: The Perfect Resolution Pt.1

We did it! We made it to Friday.

Today's post is for the ladies. Men, feel free to come along for the ride though. It's a fun look at the pressure we put on ourselves as women, as mothers, and as professionals. Imagine all the tips and advice you've ever heard about what it takes to be perfect in today's society. Now imagine fitting all that perfection into 1 day. Bring on the chaos.

The Perfect Resolution
New Year's Day came much sooner than Jenny expected. Her head throbbing from cramming all those last minute no nos in before she began to honor her resolution to be perfect. She looks again at her list, which she had written in permanent marker on her bedroom wall. It seemed like such a good idea last night. Today, it looks like the boy from the shining got in and misspelled REDRUM over and over. As her eyes began to focus she read what would become her road map to perfection.

To be PERFECT I must do the following EVERYDAY:
  • drink 640z of water
  • exercise for 30 - 60 minutes
  • 5 servings of fruits & veggies a day
  • read & write for 4 hours each (TY Stephen King)
  • Sleep for 8-10 hours
  • Power nap in afternoon
  • Cook healthy meals at home (NO TAKEOUT!)
  • Eat dinner as a family (AT THE KITCHEN TABLE!)
  • No alcohol, caffeine, or sugar (THINK HEALTHY!)
  • Keep up w/house cleaning
  • Stay on top of laundry
  • get/give at least 6 hugs (TY Becky Sain)
  • Take time for you! (YOU DESERVE IT!)
  • Finally, when perfection is achieved... repaint bedroom wall!

Jenny stared at the wall until the words began run together into a smeary black mess, or was that her Forever Lash mascara giving up? OK, she thought, so I was little overzealous. All the exclamation marks now looked like daggers. Of course, she wasn't as full of exuberance and cheap champagne as she was when she scrawled this list permanently onto the one unmarked wall in the house.

Oh well, here goes. She rolled out of the warm cocoon she had created with blankets and her husband quickly reeled in the slack around him. Jealously slid over her like a wet snake. Look at him, all snuggled in, not a care in the world. More importantly, not a resolution to uphold. She imagined grabbing the blanket and yanking it out from under him like a magician with a dining table fully set. She resisted, it would only give him a reason to say I told you so.

Jenny squared her shoulders, took a deep breath, and looked at the wall again. I can do this. I won't become angry and short tempered. I will show him... I will do this for me. She walked out of the room, pretending every step did not echo through her head like a distant bongo drum.

Ten minutes later Jenny came back in the bedroom with a steaming mug in one hand and a half eaten cheese danish. She picked up the marker, still lying uncapped on the floor, and crossed out No coffee and No sugar.

Let's be reasonable, she told herself. Her husband stirred under the covers. She carefully put the coffee and danish down. Grabbed the thickest bunch of blanket she could fit in her hands and yanked. Her husband rocked slightly, she held tighter and used a foot against his side for leverage. In a fluid motion the blanket unrolled and he dropped off the other side of the bed with a thud.

"What the hell?" Came from the floor.

"Oh, sorry. Were you in there? I'm washing these. You know, staying on top of that laundry." Jenny sang out. With the blankets balled up in her arms she left the room, pausing to grab the danish and shove the rest into her smiling mouth.


That's it for today. I hope you have enjoyed Part 1 of The Perfect Resolution. I'll post more parts over the next few days. I like things in bite size portions (except chocolate). I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments.


Kristin : )

*Here's an easy link to The Perfect Resolution Part 2


  1. HA! I could totally relate to this. What a great passage. ;-)

  2. LOL - Hilarious! And I'm so glad caffeine and sugar were first to go off the list. No one can be perfect without those.

    Just this morning I felt like doing that very thing to my husband - so thanks for giving me the vicarious thrill! ;-)

  3. I'm coming late to this, and need to go deal with the washing soon...