Reputation means everything...

Today is a blog for the kids out there and their parents. The news often catches my attention, and how could it not with unstable people throwing away cats and teens crashing into a bridge at 100+ miles an hour (BTW he lived, though surely his life will change severely). Yesterday's news was full of stories to blog about, but one in particular hit me in the parenting strings.

A 14 year old boy was accused of breaking into a neighbor's apartment and brutally stabbing a deaf and mute 16 year old boy. Right off the story is horrific; what would make a child do something so violent? Then it gets even worse. The news, in their search for a bigger and better story, starts knocking on neighbor's doors. They have this sick desire to be the first on the scene, the first to shove a tragic event into people's faces, and then film for the world to see. The neighbors rarely let America down, which I never understand. Relatives, siblings, and yes, even parents can be found on the news recounting the tragedy or fatality of their loved ones, as soon as the same day! This trend is especially disturbing to me.

But, back to this story. The news gathers neighbors, tells them of the brutal stabbing and then films their reaction. When the shock turns to anger, they begin questioning about the accused boy. Neighbors quickly paint a picture of a hoodlum with accusations like, "I always knew he was bad", and "I saw him looking in cars with a flashlight last week." Soon people were coming out of the woodwork, one by one piling on more judgement and vague accusations on this 14 year old.

Turns out, the boy's own mother attacked him and then blamed the 14 year old. I'll let that soak in a minute...

This is a horrible example of how life is an ongoing learning experience. I don't promote the tactics used by the news crews, but I will certainly sit my kids down and explain how this could happen to any kid, especially if that kid has gotten in trouble before. Keep in mind, there were no reports of this 14 year old ever being arrested for anything, but he was readily accepted as a violent offender because of emotional neighbors, and possibly some stupid actions on his part in the past.

Many kids today think it's a right of passage to get in trouble, or they think what they're doing wrong doesn't hurt anyone, or maybe they simply believe they won't get caught. What they don't think about is their reputation. It's something I'm always trying to teach my children. You are how you act, at least in the eyes of the public. If you show the slightest disregard for someone else's property or person, you're viewed as a deviant. If you don't have enough people around you who can vouch for your innocence, you risk being condemned by the public, and even by the law.

The mother in this case was obviously cold, or unstable, enough to brutally harm her own child and then blame another child. Imagine if she was able to continue the lie? An innocent teen would have been put in jail. He's already been found guilty by his neighbors.

So kids, know that what you do does matter, always has some consequence, and does shape your reputation and the way the world views you.

I hope that the 14 year old, and all kids in similar situations, takes this experience as a lesson in human behavior and doesn't cause himself more problems by reacting out of anger. I also hope that the neighbors learned something too. Don't be quick to judge another, say "No Comment" and let the police and court systems do their job.

Of course this is my opinion, let me know if you agree or disagree.

Thanks,

Kristin : )

Tech Teens: Raising Kids in a High Tech World

Anyone with teenagers knows it's a different world from when we were teens. The biggest change is the ever growing field of technology.They have computers, IPhones, Ipods, xbox 360, Playstation3, Wii, cell phones, etc. All of these devices and systems allow them to interact with the entire world. Their influences stretch well beyond their families and school friends. The scary part is how young this interaction begins. Just when I think my older boys have matured enough to understand the positive and negative aspects of all this technology, my 10 and 12 year children are asking when they get their phones and why they can't have their own online XBOX account or Facebook.

How much technology is too much? And a favorite question of my kids, How old do I have to be?

This is something I wrestle with constantly. It's a whole new ballgame for parents today. Used to be you could teach stranger danger to your kids and it covered every person that walked within their scope of life. Today their scope is widening and most predators can hide safely behind a monitor or a microphone and neatly behind the profile of an innocent child their own age. My kids know not to give personal information willingly online, but look at me like I'm crazy when I explain how they can easily baited into giving this information without even realizing it.

This is a on going battle in my house and since there are endless topics, I'd like to start discussing technology and teens weekly.

Join me next Tuesday for the first part of Tech Teens, when I'll start with the subject of age. How old should a child be before allowing full access to the virtual world?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions on this.

Thanks,

Kristin : )

CBRS: The Pink Locker Society by Debra Moffitt

Attention parents, caregivers, school teachers, and counselors: Are you looking for a book that helps preteens and tweens understand and deal with physical and emotional changes? One that looks at the time in a child's life before they are exposed to sexual activity and substance abuse issues? If your answer is yes, The Pink Locker Society is for you!

The Pink Locker Society (also known as PLS) by Debra Moffitt is a story about 4 girls, (Kate, Jemma, Piper, And Bet) who are chosen as new members of a secret society. They are expected to help other girls by answering their questions about changing feelings and body issues. Most of the questions involve the common things on most girls' minds; the PBBs (Periods, Boys, Bras). The problem the girls encounter is, how do they help other girls with issues that they are just learning about themselves?

In order to provide the best and most accurate information they research every topic they are asked about and are surprised with how much they learn along the way. But this book covers much more than body changes and first crushes. There are also important lessons about friendships and Internet scams.

The Pink Locker Society by Debra Moffitt was inspired by actual questions asked by tween and teens on a website with the same name.

http://pinklockersociety.org/

This website was developed by the creators of http://kidshealth.org/ to provide a safe haven for kids to feel comfortable about asking questions and getting accurate and straight forward answers. It is directed at kids, but can be a great resource for parents and teachers as well. A great way to find out what your kids are concerned about and to get some ideas on how to answer if you are asked similar questions.

I finished this book with a few questions in mind and thought what a great idea it would be to ask the author on line. We are both on Twitter, so I decided why not do a TwitterView. If you are on Twitter you can view the whole interview by entering this hash tag into the SEARCH box on your Twitter home page. #TV-PLS (It stands for TwitterView-PinkLockerSociety)

Please enjoy my TwitterView with Debra Moffitt, also known as @PinkLockerSociety

KCBOOKS: Q1. Are there more adventures planned for The Pink Locker Society?

PinkLockerMom: Yes, I'm working on book 2 now. The first one was periods, bras, and boys. This one is a lot about BOYS!

PinkLockerMom: Often, they [girls] don't feel comfortable talking to their moms. For instance, they're scared to say they have a boyfriend.

KCBOOKS: Q2. What issues, other than boys, would you want to cover in future books?

PinkLockerMom: Friendships are very important.I'd like to help girls get beyond the drama & know that friendships change. It's normal.

KCBOOKS: Great point, esp. when boys get involved. Changes occur in friendships & it is normal.

PinkLockerMom: Re: Boys have questions too... Here's a blog post from a boy. 51 girls were happy to help. http://bit.ly/B0sB7

KCBOOKS: Boys on PLS website goes w/Q3. Do you think the girls [in the book] might recruit a boy to encourage more male participation? #TV-PLS

PinkLockerMom: A boy in the PLS? Not sure they'd give him full member status. But he would be a great advisor.

KCBOOKS: yes and could make a great tie in w/the girls having their first group crush & how to handle it.

PinkLockerMom: Exactly. In book 2, something just like that is brewing up!

KCBOOKS: oooo...we just got a sneak peak! Can't wait to see how it's handled.

KCBOOKS: My last question involves something I worry about as a mom. Internet safety. Between child predators & scams, there are real dangers.

KCBOOKS: Q4. PLS touched on computer safety & scams. Today's tweens live in a tech world. Are there plans to cover these issues more?

PinkLockerMom: RE: Internet safety, I agree. That's why we put a subtle message in the book. Don't want to overdo bc kids will tune out.

PinkLockerMom: I think kids see the Internet/texting like we viewed the phone. It just IS. But we do need to help them be safe.

I had a lot of fun talking with Debra over Twitter. I hope to do more interviews like this in the future. I would love to hear what you think about the book, the website, and the Twitterview.

Thanks for stopping by. Keep in touch.

Kristin : )