TMI - Bathroom Humor

A recent conversation on Twitter reminded me of a funny story. For some unknown reason I've decided to share it with all of you. A little bathroom humor to start off the week.

A few years ago, well more than a few but that's not important, we were getting our basement sealed and a new sump pump installed to stop a small river that had decided our basement was a viable path. My mother stopped by to keep me and my younger kids company while the company went to work downstairs.

At one point they had to shut off the water main and asked us not to use the toilet until they piped in the new sump pump and reconnected the water main to the outgoing plumbing. Well, the time went by, the house was filled with sounds of jack hammers and drills, and coffee was guzzled. More coffee was guzzled, and when I got up to check on my napping daughter, my bladder reminded how sensitive it had become after the miracle of birth...4 times. I, forgetting all previous warnings, heeded the call of my coffee filled bladder.

The second I pressed that lever down, and the toilet kind of gurgled instead of wooshed, I remembered the warning. But It was too late. I could not take back what gravity and a simple metal handle had put into motion. By the time the shouts of surprise echoed up through the bathroom floor I was already back in the kitchen, red faced, whispering the horror of what I had just done. My mother, being the ever supporting matron that she is, fell over laughing, spitting her coffee across the table as she did.

The sound of footsteps coming up the basement stairs froze us both, like deer in the headlights we both watched the door slowly open. One of the workers pops his head out and ever so politely asks for some paper towels for his boss, who was standing IN FRONT OF THE OPEN PIPE! Even he can't hold his laughter in any longer, and my mother now sounds like a hyenna, a choking hyenna. I'm mortified, unable to move from my seat by the door where the politely laughing man waits for paper towels for his boss.

My mother manages to stop her hysterics long enough to hand me the roll near her. I force myself to walk over to the door, and as I hand the roll to the man I say...

"I'm very sorry my mother forgot and used the toilet."

Now it was my turn to laugh. My mother's face at that moment was priceless. She was still catching her breath from laughing at me and could only manage a throaty sound of surprise. The man looked at her and said, "I thought it was funny, but you sure pissed off my boss."

We still laugh at that story, of course, I laugh a little harder now.

Thanks for stopping by. Hope you enjoyed the sprinkling of Monday morning bathroom humor. (hehe, pun intended) Feel free to share a funny story of your own. Don't leave me here airing my TMI all alone.

Kristin : )

10 Things You Don't Know About Me

When my Twitter friend Dani whipped sweetly presented this award to me I was honored. Then I started thinking, what could I possibly say that I haven't all ready? So, after some time I came up with these. A few may shock you, while others you may already know or guessed. Whatever the case, after all is said and done, if you think differently of me I'll understand ;)

10 Things...

1. I am a loyal friend.


2. I can be a royal pain in the a** (this is one that may shock!)


3. I am a fierce protector of my family. I will rarely post personal info about them (& always ask before I share a story) It is my choice to live out loud on line, not theirs.


4. I am a hands on person & love restoring furniture. I occasionally get carried away. Turned a canopy bed into a baseball bat post bed for my son.


5. I have my own tools (2 sanders, jig saw, power drill, and an assortment of hand tools) & I know how to use them :)


6. I love to laugh (another shocker!) I love sarcasm, snark, and all types of silliness (as long as it's not hurtful. I may aggravate people with my humor but it's never meant to be malicious. All in good fun. Life is too short to be serious all the time.


7. I am in my 30's. I had to add that because in 3 months I will never be able to say that again. I am in my 30's...I am in my... ;)


8. I don't like routines, schedules, charts (pie or otherwise). I follow them when I must, but it hurts my inner free spirit :)


9. This one is not yet released for public knowledge (inspired by Dani) Have to leave some mysteries ;)


10. I use way too many smiley, winky, frowny faces on line. I can't help it. It's an addiction, an emoticon addiction (I'm sorry you have to suffer through it). :) ;) :( :0 :~)

So that's it. I hope I haven't scarred you with any of this. I'll understand if you can't look me in the eye for a while. Just keep stopping by, the awkwardness will pass ;)

And my chosen victims I mean nominees are...

Leah Braemel: Author of steamy love stories ;) http://www.leahbraemel.com/

Jen Knox: Author of emotionally raw memoir http://www.jenknox.com/

Lisa Pietsch: Author of kick a** military novels http://lisapietsch.com/

Nick Daws: Author, freelance copywriter, & all around good guy http://www.mywritingblog.com/

Denise Robbins: Author of techno-romantic thrillers http://deniserobbins.blogspot.com/

Feel free to share some TMI about yourself below ;) I dare ya. I double dog dare ya!

Thanks Dani. It was fun and only slightly painful. For Dani's list of nominations and to see her 10 Things stop by her beautiful Haiku blog Haiku Love Songs .

Thanks,

Kristin : )