Monday, September 13, 2010

TMI - Bathroom Humor

A recent conversation on Twitter reminded me of a funny story. For some unknown reason I've decided to share it with all of you. A little bathroom humor to start off the week.

A few years ago, well more than a few but that's not important, we were getting our basement sealed and a new sump pump installed to stop a small river that had decided our basement was a viable path. My mother stopped by to keep me and my younger kids company while the company went to work downstairs.

At one point they had to shut off the water main and asked us not to use the toilet until they piped in the new sump pump and reconnected the water main to the outgoing plumbing. Well, the time went by, the house was filled with sounds of jack hammers and drills, and coffee was guzzled. More coffee was guzzled, and when I got up to check on my napping daughter, my bladder reminded how sensitive it had become after the miracle of birth...4 times. I, forgetting all previous warnings, heeded the call of my coffee filled bladder.

The second I pressed that lever down, and the toilet kind of gurgled instead of wooshed, I remembered the warning. But It was too late. I could not take back what gravity and a simple metal handle had put into motion. By the time the shouts of surprise echoed up through the bathroom floor I was already back in the kitchen, red faced, whispering the horror of what I had just done. My mother, being the ever supporting matron that she is, fell over laughing, spitting her coffee across the table as she did.

The sound of footsteps coming up the basement stairs froze us both, like deer in the headlights we both watched the door slowly open. One of the workers pops his head out and ever so politely asks for some paper towels for his boss, who was standing IN FRONT OF THE OPEN PIPE! Even he can't hold his laughter in any longer, and my mother now sounds like a hyenna, a choking hyenna. I'm mortified, unable to move from my seat by the door where the politely laughing man waits for paper towels for his boss.

My mother manages to stop her hysterics long enough to hand me the roll near her. I force myself to walk over to the door, and as I hand the roll to the man I say...

"I'm very sorry my mother forgot and used the toilet."

Now it was my turn to laugh. My mother's face at that moment was priceless. She was still catching her breath from laughing at me and could only manage a throaty sound of surprise. The man looked at her and said, "I thought it was funny, but you sure pissed off my boss."

We still laugh at that story, of course, I laugh a little harder now.

Thanks for stopping by. Hope you enjoyed the sprinkling of Monday morning bathroom humor. (hehe, pun intended) Feel free to share a funny story of your own. Don't leave me here airing my TMI all alone.

Kristin : )


  1. Oh my gosh! I can't stop laughing!
    This is hysterical and exactly the bathroom humor I needed today... oh who am I kidding, it's always a good day for bathroom humor!

  2. I LOVE that you blamed it on your mother! THAT was perfect!

    The only bathroom-related story I can think of was from the mid-eighties. I was the head of the accounting department and did most of the dealings with our bank. So one day I had an appointment with the branch manager. I made a pit stop in the restroom, then went into the accounting room, stopping at each cubicle to see if anyone had any problems since I would be gone about an hour. Then I went in to see the company president to ask if there was anything that he wanted me to convey to the bank manager. Finally, I stopped at the receptionist's desk to let her know where I was going.

    When I got to the bank, I first went to the merchant teller window and made our daily deposit. I stopped to say hello to our loan officer. Then I went into my meeting with the branch manager. At the end, we shook hands and I walked out ~ away from him.

    Getting back to the office, I stopped in the restroom to "freshen up" only to discover when I looked in the mirror that my skirt had been tucked into my pantyhose waistband the whole time. Fortunately I was wearing panties, too, but half my rear end was still visible. Apparently everyone had been too embarrassed to tell me. So much for appearing professional!

    Hope everything's good with you, Twister. I owe you an email and will try to get it out today or tomorrow. *Big Twisty Squishy Hugs*

  3. Great Story!!! It is almost to good to be true. But isn't there a quote that says something like - if it's too good to be true it's got to be true?

  4. A great laugh to start the day! Thanks for sharing!

  5. I'm so glad you found humor in my embarrassment Becky ;) I still laugh myself :D

    Dani, thanks for baring (pun intended) your embarrassing moment. All puns aside, I would have told you. :)

    Misterrerreeder, it's so nice to hear from you again. I'm embarrassed to say that this story was all true, named were not changed. If my mother had a computer she'd back it up. Truth is sometimes better than fiction.

    Kim, thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed :)

  6. ROF,L! Seriously, choking on my tea here. I love it!