8 Deadly Demons of a Writer #6...OVERWHELMING

Can you relate to this picture? You may not have a pile this huge towering over you, but sometimes it can certainly feel like it. If you can then you've already met today's demon...



Overwhelming - to load, heap, treat, or address with an overpowering or excessive amount of anything *(as defined by Dictionary.com)

We are all busy with our daily routines: work, family, house chores, friends, etc. but then we keep adding more things to our already packed schedules. Trying to get it all done can be tough and feeling like it's not going to get done is when the demon really thrives.

Being overwhelmed from time to time is normal. Everyone has that tipping point when their To Do list becomes Too Much To Do, or at least it feels that way.

What can be done to keep this demon from crushing our creativity and halting our productivity?

We could grow more arms. Hmm, while that may be in our evolutionary future we have a long wait. We could say no to all new projects and commitments. Did you just laugh? I know I did. That's not an option. So, what is? Here's a few things I do when I feel the Overwhelming demon getting too big.

• Write a To Do list in order of importance. (If you haven't noticed by now I love my lists. The more overwhelmed I feel the more lists I write.)
• Say NO more often. (We can't and don't want to say no to everything new, but once in a while we need to be honest with ourselves about how much more we can take on.)
• Delegate, delegate, delegate. (Whatever chore, project, favor you can pass on to someone else, do it. Don't feel bad about asking for help when you find yourself getting too overwhelmed.)

The most important thing to remember when you feel overwhelmed is...

This too shall pass!

I would love to know what you do when you feel overwhelmed.

Thanks for stopping by,

~Kristin : )

8 Deadly Demons of a Writer #5...PROCRASTINATION

Today's battle is huge. I said in an earlier post that FEAR was one of the biggest demons a writer has to face. Well, this one is the biggest. Everyone has been side tracked, derailed, and nearly buried alive by this demon at one time or another. What is it?

It's PROCRASTINATION! Just look at the word. It's big and crasti. Don't let the prefix trick you; there's nothing professional about this beast. Although it takes an expert to know how to defeat it. So if there are any experts out there please help the rest of us :)

What makes this demon the biggest? Procrastination teams up with the other demons and bogs you down with excuses, distractions, and hesitations that interfere with reaching your goals. It tricks you into thinking it's ok to wander around aimlessly and not finish what you started. If you let it fester it will keep piling up around you until it becomes another creativity sucking demon... OVERWHELMING. We will battle that demon soon, but for now let's back up. We have to deal with Procrastination before it gets too big.

First thing we need to do is identify the enemy.

Procrastination - to defer action; delay: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost. *(as defined by Dictionary.com) - to put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done. *(as defined by merriam-webster.com)

Now we have to recognize when this demon is attacking us. Basically, whenever we loose our focus on projects we need to do we are procrastinating. We all know that we're doing it, but aren't sure how to stop it. Even as I write this I find myself clicking over to Twitter and checking my emails; things I don't need to do right now. So, how do we kick procrastination in the pants? Half the battle is won just by admitting that you are avoiding or putting off important things. The other half is knowing why we do it.

The reasons we procrastinate vary so widely. For some, it is just a fun break from a stressful project or job we're working on. For others, it's more complicated and confusing. This is because (like I said above) Procrastination can team up with other demons and make you loose sight of your goals temporarily or permanently.

I could go on and on about this, but I would rather use my time to figure out how to stop puttering around and get back to writing. I did find this great article on procrastination and the underlying reasons we do it (fear, self doubt, overwhelmed). It also offers many suggestions on how to stop procrastinating.

http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/procrastination.html

Getting back on track could be a long battle with many demons involved, or it can be easy as writing a list and learning to be flexible with yourself.

Write a list of your priorities and keep it near your work space. Here's mine:

• Family responsibilities/spending time


• Finish WIP (Work In Progress)


• Post regularly on blog


• Clean house/laundry


• Volunteer commitments


• Prepare for November writing challenge (NaNoWriMo)


• Finish preps for Wine Mystery (Nov)


• Prep for Boston Book Festival


• Work on marketing/promotion of The Truth Lies in the Dark

These are not in any specific order. The first 2 are the most important and are a daily goal. The rest vary in importance depending on the day. I would love to get everything done, but as you know that's just not possible. Tomorrow there will be 5 other things added to this list and some are ongoing commitments with no finish point. So I have to learn to be flexible with myself and my list. Some days the dishes, laundry, and even the family will have to wait for me to finish a chapter in my writing (As a mom, this was a hard thing to give myself permission to do). Other days, I have to unplug the computer, disconnect the Internet and just be Mom and wife.

I think the most important thing to do is be aware when you start to drift and ask yourself why you are loosing focus and looking for distractions. Is it simple because you're hungry or tired, or is because you're scared or overwhelmed? If you find it is one of your other demons getting in the way, revisit and conquer it again. If you missed any previous posts here are the links.

Intro to 8 Deadly Demons

http://kcsbooks.blogspot.com/2009/09/8-deadly-demons-of-writer.html

Fear Post

http://kcsbooks.blogspot.com/2009/09/8-deadly-demons-for-writer-2-fear.html

Guilt Post

http://kcsbooks.blogspot.com/2009/10/8-deadly-demons-of-writer3-guilt.html

Self Doubt Post

http://kcsbooks.blogspot.com/2009/10/8-deadly-demons-of-writer4-self-doubt.html

This has been the hardest post to write in my Deadly Demons series so far. Maybe because it's Monday and I am dragging from a long weekend or maybe it's because Procrastination comes in so many forms and we do it for so many reasons it's hard to fight. It doesn't help that the Internet is an ocean of great distractions; Twitter, blogs, online writing groups, and many other forms of endless information and entertainment. Making it all too easy to procrastinate...even when I am writing about procrastination. That's pretty bad. On days like today, I may have to settle for baby steps toward my goals. A small step in the right direction is better than standing still.

Today's mini goal for writing is to edit 1 chapter in my WIP and start researching agents and publishers.

How do you deal with procrastination? What are your favorite things to do when you are procrastinating?

~ Kristin : )

8 Deadly Demons of a Writer...#4 SELF DOUBT

Today's post is a short one, because the battle with the self doubt demon is a personal battle; one we all have to fight alone. Why? Because we created it and only we have control over how strong or weak it's hold is on us.

Self Doubt -lack of confidence in the reliability of one's own motives, personality, thought, etc.*(as defined by Dictionary.com)

Self doubt is a battle that we wage on ourselves. It's that little voice that says, "you can't do that" or "that'll never happen". The only way to fight it is by following those thoughts with encouraging ones. Telling yourself you might be able to, or even better, you CAN do something is very powerful. Instead of saying, "that'll never happen" say "it really could". What's the worst that can come out of it? You don't succeed? Well, you had NO chance of succeeding with a negative attitude, so what's really the harm in failing with a positive attitude. No harm at all :)

Go on, give it a try. I am setting my mini goal for today at 3 chapters of editing on my WIP. What will you do kick your self doubt in the butt? You can do it! I can too!

I hope some of you reading these posts are finding them helpful. Doing them has been such a positive experience for me. With each demon I deal with I feel lighter, more creative. It really has been great.

Thanks and remember, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO! So make sure you set your mind to something positive.

~Kristin : )

8 Deadly Demons of a Writer...#3 GUILT

Today's battle is with guilt. This is not a big demon for me, but a slippery little critter that sneaks up and throws rocks once in a while. Still, the size doesn't matter, right? Ok, stop giggling. This is about writing, not snarky jokes. Oh, who am I kidding? There's always room for snark ;)

Alright, where were we? Oh yeah, we are entering the ring against our opponent of the day...

Guilt - a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.* (As defined by Dictionary.com)


Like I said this demon is not as big as the others, but it can toss a few bumps on your path to reaching a goal. Guilt can come from many places; family, friends, work, or even yourself. When you have a lot of different commitments, like we all do, we often feel guilt when we can't be everywhere and do everything for everyone.

My guilt is self inflicted. I am thankful to have supportive family and friends in my life. They encourage my writing and all the new places it has taken me. As I mentioned in my fear post yesterday, I have always been there for my family. My work choices included places that my young children could go with me or that had same schedules as their school hours. The decision to write and pursue a possible career was the first major time commitment that didn't involve or completely revolve around them. As a mom, just making that decision took a wrestling match with guilt. How could I take time away from my kids, my husband, and other home responsibilities to write?

This becomes a harder decision when you add the fact that there is no clear cut path to this career. Even well known best selling authors and established publishing houses are reporting that it's a changing industry. It's getting tougher for everyone, except maybe Dan Brown, to get noticed. The Internet has made publishing an even playing field for all new writers, if you know how to use it, but it has also made it an infinitely larger field. That's where this career becomes even more time consuming. Not only does the writing itself take time, but now authors have to market and promote what they have written. I have been told this is true even for agented authors. The avenues, advice, and opportunities are endless on line. Each person has to decide which things to try and how much time and money they are willing to devote.

I have been lucky and blessed by the opportunities I have been given. Having a film producer consider my book for a movie is an honor, even if the network executives do not accept it. Meeting new people in the book world has been fun and enlightening. Getting to work on exciting projects, like the Nov. 13th Wine Mystery with authors Denise Robbins (It Happens In Threes) and CJ West (Sin & Vengeance) and going to signings have been great. But with these opportunities come more time commitments, which means more time away from my family. In creeps the guilt.

Hopefully, if guilt is one of your demons, it is a small one. If that's the case, you and I don't have to do much. When ever it tries to sneak up we just need to remember not to be so hard on ourselves when we can't do everything. And *poof* that little guilt critter is gone. It will be back, but we'll be ready to shoo it away again.

If you guilt is deeper and can not be shooed away with an encouraging thought you should read this article. http://cindysense.com/positive-thinking/identifying-3-types-of-guilt/ . I found it while looking for a picture to use for this blog. It lists the different kinds of guilt and how to deal with them.

Ok, now to finish off the battle with guilt. Set another mini goal for today that brings you a little closer to achieving your main goal. I am going to edit 2 more chapters of my WIP. I will do this, guilt free, no matter how long it takes me to finish.

If you missed any of the previous 8 Deadly Demon posts I have included the links to them below. Thanks for stopping by.

~Kristin : )

Intro to 8 Deadly Demons:

http://kcsbooks.blogspot.com/2009/09/8-deadly-demons-of-writer.html

Fear Post:

http://kcsbooks.blogspot.com/2009/09/8-deadly-demons-for-writer-2-fear.html

8 Deadly Demons for a Writer... #2 Fear

Yesterday I started a short series about overcoming some of the inner demons that get in the way of writing or any goals in life. Here's a recap of that post.

http://kcsbooks.blogspot.com/2009/09/8-deadly-demons-of-writer.html

So let's jump right in with Deadly Demon #2... FEAR

Fear - a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. (*as defined by Dictionary.com)




Out of the 8 Deadly Demons fear is one of the biggest. Think of a tall tree that looms high above while most of it's mass is firmly rooted beneath the surface. Like these roots, most fears are out of sight, but still powerful. People have been trying to battle fear forever. Leaders, poets, writers and many others have given us weapons in the form of words and actions meant to empower and encourage.

“Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself” The famous quote by Franklin D. Roosevelt encouraged a nation to stand up and take an active part in ending the depression. More of his 1st Inaugural Address can be found here: http://historymatters.gmu.edu/d/5057/ .

But even with all that history and inspiration fear still rears it's ugly head. So, how do we stop it from interfering with our goals? We don't.



Fear is a natural reaction; a built in safety feature to ensure our survival. In small amounts it can be a great motivator, but when fear gets too big it can be crippling. Finding the right balance with fear is the only way to tame the beast so we can get back to creating. Easily said, right? Now let's do it.



First you have to list the fears that are getting in your way. Decide if they're real or imagined, and then find a way make each one less scary. Ok, here I go.

Fears as a writer...

1. People won't like my book


2. Publishers/agents won't like my writing


3. I won't like my book when it's done


4. Everyone will love my book and my entire life will change


5. My kids will spill something on my keyboard, sticking the caps lock key, and I will write an entire book screaming.

Ok, so now I look at my list and decide what is real and imagined. Obviously #5 is not going to happen. (at least it better not...kids, you here me? Keep your stickies away.) I joke but we all have some irrational fears and it does help to write them down. Sometimes just seeing them on paper makes them a little less intimidating.

#1 & 2 are fears I can overcome by rationalizing. I think all writers fear rejection, whether it's a negative review or the 'no thanks' from an agent or editor. As much as I fear it, I know they are a natural part of the process. I take comfort in the fact that many famous authors have their own rejection scars.

#3 is more complicated. It is a fear that, at the end of it all, I will think my book sucks. But before I toss it in the closet or the fireplace I have to be sure that another demon (Self Doubt) hasn't disguised itself as fear. For anyone with a tough inner critic, this can be a common mistake if not an excuse to stop. So, until I deal with the self doubt demon I can't be sure how to deal with this one.

#4 may not sound like a fear to some. One of a writer's goals is to be published and to have their work read and loved by the masses. But with the recognition comes a new fear; of the unknown. What if my book is loved, I land a great agent, and a big publisher offers a contract? What happens then? How much will my life change?

Don't get me wrong, being published again is my goal. My first book, The Truth Lies in the Dark was contracted by a small publisher, so things have been happening slowly; which means not so many changes in my life. I think of this book as a great learning experience. I wrote it knowing nothing about the publishing world. I am proud to have come this far with it, but still feel like I am only at the base of the publishing mountain. It's scary not knowing what's next.

Another part of this fear is whether my family is ready for what may be next. I am a mom first and foremost, and have always been there for my family. Any work outside of the home I have done revolved around them. When they were young I worked as a preschool teacher at a neighborhood community center and as they grew I became a substitute teacher in our town's elementary schools. Writing is the first time consuming work I have done that is just for me. So, there is a fear of change for my family as well that I can't ignore. This is the point where fear starts to grow fangs and transform into another demon, Guilt. This is a now a whole new battle for another day.

Ok, we're almost there now. We have hopefully squished down our big bad fears so that they are not a deadly demon, but more like a Chiwawa with an occasional bad attitude. Just enough bite to keep us moving toward our goals, not running away.

There is one more thing to do to keep fear from bubbling right back up again. Set a reasonable mini goal that can be met today. Prove to yourself that you really did concur your fears. For me it is to to read and edit 2 chapters of my WIP. What will you do?

Writing this out was a very helpful exercise for me. I hope it helped you too. If you want to share your fears or comment on mine I would love to hear from you.

Thanks,

~ Kristin : )

8 Deadly Demons of a Writer

I've been slacking when it comes to my blog lately. I took a break to work on my WIP, which is so close yet so far from being finished. I seem to have hit a wall. Not with the story; I know where that's going. Not with the characters; I love them too. My wall is inside of me. At first I blamed outside forces for my inability to sit down and write. With a large family, both in my home and our extended families, there is always something going on. Always someone who needs a ride, a helping hand, or even a shoulder to cry on. I have no problem being there for them. Of course, not every call is an emergency and if I told them I was busy once in a while they would completely understand. So, I can't blame them, right?

I have been wrestling with finishing this story for a while. I have rewritten it a few times; really trimmed out a lot of fat from it. When I do make myself sit down and write I fall in love again with Brad, Jessica, and even have softened up on Diana. But as soon as I get up to do something else it's so hard to get back to it.

I have been trying to figure it out. Asking myself all the questions I imagine every writer does. Is this story so hard to finish because it's crap? Should I toss the whole thing in the fireplace and start something new?

I always come back with the same answer for myself. If I accept that this is crap and toss it in the fire I will always allow myself to do that when I face a writing challenge. So, now I have to figure out why I am having such a hard time. What's holding me back? What are my inner demons that get in the way of writing. I came up with 7 (well 8 actually, but 7 that I have to overcome). Here there are in no particular order. I will list them today and then spend the next week or so battling them , one by one.

8 Deadly Demons of a Writer

1. Plagiarism - the unauthorized use or close imitation of the language and thoughts of another author and the representation of them as one's own original work.* This is the one demon I don't worry about, but felt that I couldn't list deadly demons of a writer without at least tossing this ugly beast into the mix.

2. Fear - a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.*

3. Guilt - a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.*

4. Self Doubt -lack of confidence in the reliability of one's own motives, personality, thought, etc.*

5. Procrastination - to defer action; delay: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost. *

6. Overwhelming - to load, heap, treat, or address with an overpowering or excessive amount of anything *

7. Quitting - to stop, cease, or discontinue; to stop trying, struggling, or the like; accept or acknowledge defeat.*

8. Self Sabotage - any underhand interference with production, work, etc. *

Over the next week or so I will talk about how these 7 demons affect my writing. Like I said, #1 Demon: Plagiarism is pretty easy to battle; you just avoid it. If you feel it is creeping up on you, keep it bay with something as simple as an asterisk (*) followed by a footnote like this...

*All definitions used above came from Dictionary.com, a service of Ask.com.

It may not be accepted APA or MLA styles of citing material but it tells the reader: this is where I found the info. You can find it there too. In other words, it does the trick.

This is a personal battle for me, but I hope that you come along. If you are dealing with similar demons in your writing, or any aspect of life, leave a comment. If you feel I have missed some important demons please tell me and I will talk about them too.

Thanks,

Kristin : )