Reputation means everything...

Today is a blog for the kids out there and their parents. The news often catches my attention, and how could it not with unstable people throwing away cats and teens crashing into a bridge at 100+ miles an hour (BTW he lived, though surely his life will change severely). Yesterday's news was full of stories to blog about, but one in particular hit me in the parenting strings.

A 14 year old boy was accused of breaking into a neighbor's apartment and brutally stabbing a deaf and mute 16 year old boy. Right off the story is horrific; what would make a child do something so violent? Then it gets even worse. The news, in their search for a bigger and better story, starts knocking on neighbor's doors. They have this sick desire to be the first on the scene, the first to shove a tragic event into people's faces, and then film for the world to see. The neighbors rarely let America down, which I never understand. Relatives, siblings, and yes, even parents can be found on the news recounting the tragedy or fatality of their loved ones, as soon as the same day! This trend is especially disturbing to me.

But, back to this story. The news gathers neighbors, tells them of the brutal stabbing and then films their reaction. When the shock turns to anger, they begin questioning about the accused boy. Neighbors quickly paint a picture of a hoodlum with accusations like, "I always knew he was bad", and "I saw him looking in cars with a flashlight last week." Soon people were coming out of the woodwork, one by one piling on more judgement and vague accusations on this 14 year old.

Turns out, the boy's own mother attacked him and then blamed the 14 year old. I'll let that soak in a minute...

This is a horrible example of how life is an ongoing learning experience. I don't promote the tactics used by the news crews, but I will certainly sit my kids down and explain how this could happen to any kid, especially if that kid has gotten in trouble before. Keep in mind, there were no reports of this 14 year old ever being arrested for anything, but he was readily accepted as a violent offender because of emotional neighbors, and possibly some stupid actions on his part in the past.

Many kids today think it's a right of passage to get in trouble, or they think what they're doing wrong doesn't hurt anyone, or maybe they simply believe they won't get caught. What they don't think about is their reputation. It's something I'm always trying to teach my children. You are how you act, at least in the eyes of the public. If you show the slightest disregard for someone else's property or person, you're viewed as a deviant. If you don't have enough people around you who can vouch for your innocence, you risk being condemned by the public, and even by the law.

The mother in this case was obviously cold, or unstable, enough to brutally harm her own child and then blame another child. Imagine if she was able to continue the lie? An innocent teen would have been put in jail. He's already been found guilty by his neighbors.

So kids, know that what you do does matter, always has some consequence, and does shape your reputation and the way the world views you.

I hope that the 14 year old, and all kids in similar situations, takes this experience as a lesson in human behavior and doesn't cause himself more problems by reacting out of anger. I also hope that the neighbors learned something too. Don't be quick to judge another, say "No Comment" and let the police and court systems do their job.

Of course this is my opinion, let me know if you agree or disagree.

Thanks,

Kristin : )

Healthy Fear

As a mom of four, I know how hard it is to raise kids today. The never ending battle to teach them right and wrong, sympathy and empathy, good and bad, safe and dangerous. There are a million opportunities and ways to do this each day. Whichever methods or words we choose, we all have to go to bed knowing we have done the best we can to keep our children safe, healthy, and happy. A recent trip to the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles aka Defunct Meandering Vexationstation) got me thinking.

A Grandmother was sitting next to me with her 3-4 year old granddaughter. The little girl (donning adorably huge fuzzy bunny ears) was singing songs and reciting her alphabet, with her grandmother encouraging her to sing louder. It was very cute. I made sure to look up after each segment of her impromptu show, just to smile. Kids love an audience. Other people nearby cheered and complimented the little girl. It's funny how bureaucracy can strike up these kinds of kinships.

Where the day took a turn for me was when the little girl started asking her grandmother about strangers. She pointed at the woman who clapped, the nice gentleman who said good job, and me who had smiled, and asked if we were strangers. Her grandmother answered yes, which we were. She went on to ask if everyone around her were strangers, which prompted another obvious yes from the grandmother. Then the little girl announced that her mother said ALL strangers wanted to steal her.

"Do all these strangers want to steal me away?"

" Yes, " her grandmother replied again. "You are just a little girl. You can't talk to strangers ever."

I couldn't help but glance up from my book to see her eyes widen as she looked around again. Her songs and dancing stopped. Can you imagine the fear pumping through that child's body at that moment? I could see it.

I'm not in the position to say that it was the right or wrong thing to teach that little girl. Kids are inherently trusting and it's scary to think how easily they can be manipulated into dangerous situations. But I do admit that hearing that type of blanket fear being taught worries me. What happens when that little girl grows up? Will she harbor this underlying wide spread fears that her mother and grandmother have taught, and obviously at some level still believe? That is not only sad, but scary. Fear is the foundation of prejudice and hate. I'm afraid that teaching our children to fear everyone and everything will set the stage for some serious problems in the future and a huge backslide for humanity (that was a bit dramatic, but you know what I mean)

Anyone who really knows me is snickering at parts of this post. I am pretty much the most paranoid parent around, second only to my husband. I am cautious, sometimes overly so, but I try (or at least I hope) to convey to my kids that there are possible rewards and consequences in every situation. There is a balance, a healthy amount of fear needed to keep children aware and careful, but still able to grow into open and trusting adults. That is what I want most for my kids, because I believe that's where they'll find happiness.

So, maybe the key is adding another goal to my nightly ritual. When I lie down to fall asleep knowing that I've done everything in my power to keep my children safe, healthy, and happy, I will also be more aware of teaching them something that helps them become a better person out in the world when they become adults.

Just think of the possibilities if our kids could be just a little more respectful, accepting, and understanding to each other as adults. Imagine them acting and thinking from these emotions and not from fear.

Thanks,

Kristin : )

A Contest For Kids! Winner gets to co-author next Casey and Bella book!

That's right, Casey and Bella are back! And this time author Jane Lovascio had help. A fourth grader named Autumn, is the proud co-author of Casey and Bella Go Green. How? She entered the Casey and Bella Writing Contest!

It's contest time again! All children in grades 3, 4, and 5 are able to enter. This is a great way to get our kid's creative juices flowing after a long summer.

Want to know more? Here are the basic rules:

Contest begins September 1, 2009 and ends April 15, 2010..

The 10 Finalists will be announced on May 15, 2010, and notified by phone and e-mail. Winners will be selected and notified beginning June 15, 2010. Finalists and winners will also be announced on http://www.cuddlybooks.com/.

The Casey and BellaTM Story contest was created to foster creativity in 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders. Therefore, entries will be judged on the following criteria:

1. Creativity and originality of title and adventure.
2. Creativity and originality of the 3 new characters introduced in the story.
3. The moral or lessons learned in the story.

Questions as a guide

• Where, when, or how do Casey and Bella travel?
• Whom do they meet on their journey?
• What lessons do they learn?

*Casey and Bella must be the main characters in the story.

• No rhyming.
• Describe your idea in 1000 words or less.
• Full page format or page breaks accepted.
• All entries must be the fully original creations of the entrants.

For complete rules and an Casey and Bella Writing Contest entry form please go to:

http://www.cuddlybooks.com/index.php?pr=Contest

My daughter and I had the pleasure of meeting Jane Lovascio, Casey, and Bella ( yes, they are real, adorable pups) at BEA in New York City. We loved her two previous books, Casey and Bella Go to Hollywood and Casey and Bella Go to New York. For my reviews follow this link:

( http://www.blogger.com/Casey%20&%20Bella%20Reviews )

So of course we are excited to read about their newest adventure. My daughter is already thinking up her own ideas for the contest. We are also getting my niece into it. Share this with a child you know.

Good Luck to all of the kids entering!

~Kristin : )

Never Throw Away A Good Kid!

My grandmother was a resourceful lady. She taught me value of a dollar and the importance of family and that you should never, ever throw either away. So, what do you do when they throw themselves away? Grab a camera of course, and then help them out of the garbage can they have somehow wedged themselves into.

It didn't end there. After I helped my son out of this. I actually had to tell my daughter 'Don't even think about trying it' as she stood eyeing the can with disturbing interest.

Somehow I don't think Gram meant this when she was teaching me life lessons.

If this is how my weekend is going to be I might have to start looking forward to Mondays. Hope you all have a great long weekend.

Kristin : )